you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize