Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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