I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
