i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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