Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
