we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
