She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
