Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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