called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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