I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
