I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
