Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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