You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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