Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
