I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
