After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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