It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
