What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
