No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
