is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
