My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
