i always forget guys have bellybuttons
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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