I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This girl is more easily done than said...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
someone owes me an orgasm
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
