4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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