She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
either way he was missing a nipple.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
