so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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