I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
