Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize