How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
