you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We don't watch enough power rangers
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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