New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
