Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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