dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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