And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
