ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
