shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
