Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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