I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
