I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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