I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
