out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
