i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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