Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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