does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
