This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
