Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize