How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize