just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
