FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it glows. i had to have it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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