I'm going to jail i love you
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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