why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
