that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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