just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
