You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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