I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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