Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
