fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
