He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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