I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We are all done wearing pants today
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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