Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
