We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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