just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
