I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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