KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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