it wasn't lemon gatorade
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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