We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
