You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
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