i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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