I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
