the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
