so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
