Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize