if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
