Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize