i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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