its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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