the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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