My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize