): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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